.:I Do Nothing:.

~Forgive my babbling. I never meant to make my second post a classic teenage dilemma but I needed to vent~

Right now I find myself in a very curious position. A position that can be defined by one word. That one word can define most heterosexual male's problems. That word is "Girl". A bit vague yes but I believe it does define the bulk of our problems.

Not of course to say that we as males don't cause just as many problems, we do I'm sure. Moving on though. I don't believe I can share my problems on this blog as some of the readers are my friends in real life and I want to keep my private life just that. Private.

The problem without revealing too much can be stated as such. "How can I tell the girl how I feel when it will only cause her pain?". Of course though by not telling her I cause myself more pain. A constant ache that burns my chest whenever I think about it even now as I type I have to restrain myself from picking up the phone and telling her how I feel. If I tell her though we can't be together so I'll gain nothing. Once I tell her we'll never be as close as we are now. So I stand to lose everything and gain nothing. Painful. If I really do care for her though I'll have to endure...

A thought just occurred to me though. If I can endure this then it will prove the strength of my feelings and if I succumb to my desires then my feelings for her aren't as strong as they should be.

So what do I do? I do nothing. For that is the smartest thing I can do. Ironic, no?

.:A New Dive:.

I had never given much thought to blogging but I happened to come across a line in a student's application to Lawrence University in a College Admission exercise. That line intrigued me to no end. The line was in the section where the student had to fill in their extracurricular activities. She had put "Blogging" as one of them. I at first thought it was absurd. For right up there with blogging was "Chief Correspondent in the School Newspaper" and "6th Grade Mathematics Teacher". Why would anyone even think to put this teenage hobby in their college application? Wouldn't it pale in comparison to the other two? What a fool I thought.

In the middle of my harsh judgement however I caught myself and realized that I'd began to act ignorantly. I was in the middle of doing something that I would have berated one of my own peers for, for a different topic mind but the same basic action. Ignorantly judging.

So I've come here to explore the intricacies of "Blogging". Even as I write this my first ever serious blog I've begun to appreciate just how relaxing this can be. I also feel that it will help me in the future. I'm not sure how but I feel something brewing. Something that might just change me, for the better.

So I start a new aspect of my life. Blogging. I look forward to feedback from everyone who cares to join me on this journey.